Dont want to be gay.com

Hello, my name is Sylvia Huerta. My old
classmates will know me by my maiden
name, Sylvia Garcia. I can't tell you the
many times I have looked back and said,
"Thank you Lord for bringing me where I am
today." It wasn't always easy, but I didn't go
through it alone. Jesus has been my guide
without ceasing. I was taken from a life of
26 years in homosexuality. I was a lesbian
from childhood, since the first grade. I had
just gotten out of another dead end
relationship with the love I thought was my
life. I would have never thought this life was
not what God had intended for anyone,
especially for me. I remember my friends
and the good times we had, but there is a
time in our lives when we have to decide for
ourselves what we really want out of life, the
parties, the drinking, the girls who I thought
were great, but was that all there was to this
life? Maybe for some people it's enough,
but not for me. I wanted more out of life. I
wanted fulfillment that would stay after the
night turned to day. I wanted commitment
that by then seemed so easy to slip away. I
wanted a love that would last a lifetime in
my heart not just in my apartment. Some
relationships lasted two years. Some
lasted five and then were over. All
individually different, each bond met
different needs in my life. Finding someone
to be happy with was becoming
impossible. I just couldn't seem to give my
heart the fulfillment it so desperately
needed. My mind didn't have to tell me. My
heart could speak for itself. It always
seemed to cry out to remind me of the
empty place that no one was able to fill
since childhood. Going from relationship to
relationship, thinking the next woman would
be the one, was not going to gratify my
heart any longer. My company of friends
brought along laughter from the
camaraderie, but the nights were long and
the days were short for a heart who lived
alone. It was hard to leave her when it was
over. This time it wasn't my decision. I left
upon her request. I walked away without
knowing what the future would provide for
me now. A purpose in life would have been
nice. Sure I had a good job and found the
perfect apartment, but a purposeful life was
nowhere in my reach. I really yearned for a
great love, the greatest love ever, and my
persistent heart wouldn't rest with anything
less. I was alone in my apartment. It gave
me time to think. Time to really meditate on
what I could do for myself. I sat there
watching the tube and a man of God (whom
I have never seen again) spoke directly to
me. He asked what was it that was
weighing heavy on my heart. What was it
that held me from a new life with Jesus? I
didn't know that Jesus had shed His life
sustaining blood for me to be free. I hadn't
heard of how much pain this Man had
endured. He was beaten like a beast, left
beyond recognition, whipped over and over
with His flesh stripped and pulled from His
body. Despised and spit upon He was
crowned with long thorns pounded into His
head. Finally, being nailed to the cross He
endured the pain for all my sin and shame.

He wanted to give me the love that was to
fulfill this tired heart of mine. His passion
was to be the greatest Love I would ever
possess. He wanted to have a committed
RELATIONSHIP with me that would prove
to be unconditional and significant. He
loved me! Jesus died and for three days
He was in the depth of Death and Hell. But
He could not be restrained. On the third
day He rose. In power and victory, He sat
at the right hand of God the Father! And
this power and victory is for US! FOR US!
Every thing that He did was FOR US!
The man on t.v. said, "Close your eyes and
picture yourself standing next to a river of
blood the blood that Jesus shed for you."
He went on to say, "I'm going to ask you to
take the name of that which is weighing
heavy on your heart and throw it into the
river of the blood of Jesus and you will see
it sink, never to be seen again." Well I
thought about it for a while, and sitting there
still with my eyes closed, I could see myself
standing at the edge of the river. I lifted the
name of "Lesbian" and heaved it into the
deep river of His blood. Crying, I sat there
with the Savior of my soul, Jesus Christ.
And the preacher on t.v. was right. I haven't
seen it since. That was back in November
of 1993. Every day I walk with Jesus and
He walks with me. There are times He has
had to carry me. At other times He's had to
nudge me. And often times He's had to
slow me down, but He has never once left
my side, never once left me abandoned. I
married a year later to a man, who God has
given me a totally different perspective on,
and we have three beautiful children. I
never thought I would have a family of my
own. This is just a by product of what
Jesus' love has done for me. To marry was
my own choice. I will always love Jesus first
and most of all. I will forever keep Jesus as
my Greatest Love of All. He is the One that
keeps my life together. My heart has found
it's home at last in Jesus Christ. I didn't
know life had a different meaning to God
than it did to this world. To us it meant living
it up, acting crazy, getting loaded all night,
and loving who we felt like loving at the
time. To Him it meant giving it all up,
making a commitment, loving us for an
eternity, and offering us freedom by
enduring the cross and Hell (so we wouldn't
have to). What are you going to do when
you stand face to face with Almighty Father
and He asks you, "What did you do with my
Son Jesus whom I gave up for you?" What
are you going to say? What do you think
He's waiting for you to do with the sacrifice
of His only Son? The apostle Paul warns us
to judge ourselves so that we won't come
under judgement in 1Cor.11:31. Jesus was
sacrificed for you to be free from the chains
of homosexuality, free from all sin that binds
itself to you. I love Him because He first
loved me and the Truth is..... HE LOVES
YOU TOO! Receive Jesus as your Lord
and Savior and take hold of a new life in
Him.